Thursday, May 13, 2021 — I’m still wading through the swamp of my cookbook collection, but I think I’m nearing the end. It’s utterly amazing what you will come across while sorting through your ‘stuff.’ In a gallon zippered storage bag was this really pathetic looking cookbook (using the term loosely) with a birthday card. I didn’t remember either item, but felt it must have been important at one point in time so I opened the bag and gingerly removed the birthday card.
Birthday card to me — date unknown, but Dolly has passed and Maggie (my aunt) has been in a care facility (strokes) for a number of years now.
And the ‘cookbook’:
Mom was a member of this organization for a number of years. In looking through the cookbook, I recognized several names, especially one who happened to be a neighbor.
Another ‘keeper’ but I doubt that my kids would understand the significance of nor the history of this bedraggled collection of recipes. Part of me wants to hit the Internet and search for some of the names that I recognized. There’s a FaceBook group called, “You Know You’re From Clairemont if” — I imagine that would be a good place to start. Clairemont (North and South) was a very tight-knit community of middle class blue collar workers. The homes in North Clairemont were built for servicemen/women returning from WWII or the Korean War (can’t remember which) and they were all ‘cracker boxes’ but nice cracker boxes! People kept their homes up and kids played in the streets until dark and then they played underneath the street lights until their parents called them in to eat dinner and go to bed. It was a good time.
My parents bought a home in North Clairemont in 1956. My husband and I bought our first home in North Clairemont in 1969–it happened to be one of those ‘cracker boxes’ and we were grateful to have the opportunity to buy it. Three bedrooms, one bath, one car garage and a huge back yard. We had to put $50 down to open escrow and put the remainder of $500 downpayment at the close of escrow 90 days later. We scrimped like crazy, but we made it. So began our upward movement in homes.
Be safe, be well, and please tell those you love that you love them. Life is a circle–our past will follow us wherever we go. Make sure YOUR past is one you wouldn’t mind meeting again!
Wednesday, May 12, 2021 — Wonders never cease. Today, I interviewed a young man who is a Junior at Tehachapi High School and who has a part time business — weed whipping properties! Robert has allowed me to hire someone to do the yearly cutting of weeds and clearing our property for 200′ from the house. I have barked and pleaded with him for the past several years that I didn’t want him working on that hillside because it’s uneven and he doesn’t have the best physical balance anymore. Finally, he caved and allowed it. I am blessed.
And, the eldest came over, saw the boxes of cookbooks in the entryway and when I told him to take them and go to the swapmeet and sell them, he said, ‘possibly.’ That little crack in the door was all I needed to encourage him to start loading the car! LOL Next on the agenda was to get him to accept the china hutch and contents that he didn’t want me to sell outside the family. He didn’t want it to go anywhere else, but then he never took possession of it either. He asked what I was going to put in its place and I said, “Nothing.” We’re trying to get rid of stuff, not just move it around. So next rest period he’s promised to bring his truck and take the china hutch. Hooray! AND, he’s promised to take the stack of TREX wood that was left over from building the deck 14 years ago! The stuff was/is expensive so we never wanted to just throw it away, figuring that someone could use it. And the years slipped by and the TREX sat. It was a pain in the Kazoo when watering the layout because you always had to renegotiate the hose, moving it back and forth around the stack of wood. It’ll be sooo good to get that gone.
One thing at a time, one day at a time.
Be safe, be well (take care of yourself), and be sure to tell those you love that you love them. My nephew-in-law is on the mend from his COVID infection, though my niece says he’s still trying to regain his strength. She admits he should have got the vaccinations, but didn’t. She said she’s had her two shots and is now waiting for her 14 days to end. She’s a beautician and I know she has a number of regular clients whose protection she’s ensuring while they’re in her shop. Be prepared. ’nuff said!
Tuesday, May 11, 2021 — The COVID figures for this past week showed 25 new infections but no deaths. That’s a start, but 25 new ones in one week??? I need to add that this is for Kern County as a whole, not our little town alone. I have no clue what our numbers are. I know I can get them from the Kern County Health Dept. web site, but why seek out bad news?? It’s enough to see it in black and white in the morning newspaper.
Which brings me to the situation where you learn that friends of yours say they are among those who don’t believe in the vaccine, and not only haven’t been vaccinated, but don’t plan on doing so. Shocked, is one term, but also “Personal Preference” comes to mind. It is a personal decision, and I’m certainly glad I’ve received both vaccinations, just in case the friends happen to have come in contact with a carrier and didn’t know it. Safety first (and that’s a railroad term!!)
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, something is eating my plants out front. I have my Butternut Squash, a Zucchinni, some Elderberry shrubs (now down to one lowly gnarled plant), and some Coriander (ala Cilantro). And, our three rose bushes are alive with aphids. I used the very last of my Safe Soap insecticide on them so will have to rely on home-made spray until I get to Home Depot again for the high grade stuff.
It’s warm today, and that’s a nice change from the cold, but I don’t want it getting too warm. LOL I got spoiled living all those years in temperate San Diego with its ocean breezes.
Be safe, be sure to take care of yourself, and remember to tell those you love that you love them. Continue to take precautions against the COVID-19 virus until it is dead, dead, dead. Though I don’t know that that will ever happen if you have people who choose not to be vaccinated. Just be careful out there, people!
Sunday, May 9, 2021 — Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers here today. My day has been beautiful, with both sons and my niece reporting in with well wishes. Truly, all this mother ever needs from her children is to hear their voice and when we get a chance, to get a hug.
The women who said they would come today were no-shows — no call, no e-mail, no FB msg. Ah well. It is what it is. But, I did invite my neighbor Susan to come over and get first pick and we had the nicest visit while she went through the cookbooks. I was utterly amazed at the number of cookbooks I had collected over the years. I kept pulling books and pulling books and filled three medium size packing boxes full with the entryway table loaded to boot. Sadly, my neighbor only took two or three with her. LOL
I told her I was going to have to have a yard sale to get rid of things and she brightened and said she was already planning one and we agreed to hold it together. Sometime in July, I expect, we’ll be ready to put our stuff out for the world to peruse and purchase (hopefully). Part of the problem with going through things to downsize is that you get caught up in memories of when you acquired the item(s). They become important to you once more and you abandon letting go of them, one more time. LOL Nope, can’t go there… once a decision is made, it has to be honored. So says a fabricholic that hasn’t attempted to reduce her stash yet!
Somehow, we learn erroneously that ‘things’ will make us happy; the more we have, the happier we will be. Not true. Things become an invisible burden to our psyche. We always feel lighter when we shed the excesses in our lives. This is my time to shed…
Be safe, take care of yourself (especially if you’re a caregiver–a lesson I’ve recently been reminded of), and be sure to tell those you love that you love them. Love is the most important thing to possess in this world. May you have all the love you can carry in your heart and more. Blessings to you.
May 8, 2021 — All of these health crises has made me want to really downsize what I own here at home. One of my big ‘collections’ is cookbooks. I’ve inherited several from various family members, especially from my husband’s side of the family. These I intend to keep so they can be passed on to the kids. There’s only a few of the other cookbooks I will keep.
Last night, I posted a GIFT notice on the Tehachapi Buy Nothing group on Facebook that I was shedding a lot of my cookbook collection and if anyone was interested they could message me to arrange a time to go through the collection and pick what they want. I received one message from a woman who said her daughter was learning to cook and she would love to go through my cookbooks. I messaged her back and asked her to come today. I have a couple of special books set aside for her, but will allow her to choose more when she comes.
The thing that amazes me is the things we come across when going through our possessions. I came across a copy of “Workbasket Magazine” dated March 1996. It was the only issue, so I figured it had something in it that was special. Well, the special thing is that it is the last issue produced as Workbasket Magazine. Read more about this really neat little craft magazine here: https://mycraftbasket.wordpress.com/history-of-workbasket-magazine/
Last Issue of Workbasket Magazine March 1996
I have a bad habit of not wanting to throw anything away, always believing that things should be recycled or given away to keep our landfills under control. That said, I’ve tossed 4 empty coffee cans, 3 glass quart jars and a gazillion plastic bowls from purchased salad mixes. I know this urge to keep things is something I inherited from my parents. Both parents were somewhat of a hoarder–my mother’s thing was food. She had an absolute grocery store in her garage; shelves upon shelves of canned goods and a second, full-size refrigerator there for perishables. I’ve never been that bad, but I do have a very full pantry!
Well, enough dribble for now. I’m obviously feeling much better (hooray!) and will endeavor to stay that way. Water is beginning to taste o.k. right now — not great, but o.k., LOL
Blessings to you and yours. Be safe, continue to practice your social distancing and be sure to tell those you love that you love them. I like the Buy Nothing concept — it’s like “Pass It On” because people there trade services as well as personal things–all free of charge. Being here for one another is what counts!
Thursday, May 6, 2021 — It’s been a difficult time recently. I went into the hospital on 4/29 and was released on 4/30. Congestive heart failure. I went back to the hospital on 5/4 and was released on 5/5 around 1am. Dehydration.
I’m home now, but weak. I’ll try to post in a couple of weeks. Thanks for being here.
Blessings to all… remember to tell those you love that you love them. Nothing is guaranteed in this life, and we should take nothing for granted, especially our health.
Sunday, May 2, 2021 — Home now, with three new medications. Diagnosis was another episode of Congestive Heart Failure, but my heart threw out indicators of a heart attack, so it wasn’t until after they’d done some testing that they corrected the diagnosis. Went to the local ER and then they transferred me by ambulance to a hospital in Bakersfield. Robert took the car and drove home (thankfully, he is still able to drive in an emergency, which this was, although I drove us over to the hospital initially).
Kids to the rescue — the younger son and my niece drove up from San Diego, stopped by the house to pick up Robert and then back west to Bakersfield to wait while I was being discharged. The elder son was at Cajon when the text came to rally the troops and he passed the younger son’s vehicle 3 blocks from the house. He knew that only two people could be admitted as visitors so went ahead to the house to wait.
I now have to really watch my sodium intake. And, tonight, cramping began in my hands. It’s due to an electrolyte imbalance but I don’t know what part I’m low on. I have been taking Magnesium at night, and for the most part it helps, but not completely. I’ve complained to the dr’s and nothing has been suggested as a remedy so I continue using my homeopathic Hyland’s Leg Cramp pills. They work.
Please stay safe. Take care of yourself (I know, best I take that advice myself), and remember you are loved. Please tell those you love that you love them. One day at a time, one moment at a time.
Wednesday, April 28, 2021 — Well, it’s been a “D.D.” (Damned Different) day today. I woke at 4 a.m. with a need to go to the bathroom. Our bathroom is about 8-10 ft. away. By the time I finished, I was totally out of breath and wheezing like a growl. I managed to get to my emergency inhaler but was so short of breath I found I couldn’t use the inhaler. I forced myself to calm down and managed to use the inhaler, which in turn eased my breathing. I then went to the office, sat down and set up the nebulizer.
To say I was scared is to put it mildly. I’ve only had one or two other instances where I was so short of breath I couldn’t get my breathing timed in order to draw in a dose of medication from the inhaler. So today I called the pulmonologist’s office and have an appointment for a breathing test, and then a bit later the scheduler for the new cardiologist’s office called and scheduled me for an ultrasound of my heart and lungs. Considering that I just saw him for the first time yesterday, receiving a call today is nothing short of miraculous. (or scary, if I think about it too much… LOL)
I will persevere and will find out what’s going on. I pulled up all of the chest x-ray reports as well as the CT scan and MRI that were done of my stomach and pelvic regions. The CT report said there were nodules in my lungs and I should come back in 6 mos. for a re-test to see if they were stable. It’s been almost that now, so I’m hoping the ultrasound will show something. If not, I’ll request another CT Scan. I’ve printed out all of the reports and will put them in the mail for the new cardiologist.
Meanwhile, I’m taking it easy–sewing on a new baby quilt that is going to be really pretty, and resting when I feel I need it. I’m also staying on top of the nebulizer treatments–currently every 3 hours or so. They work, so I at least have that going for me.
Be safe, take care of yourself and be aware of the six-foot distancing. I will continue to wear a face mask until such time as I am assured that there is no more pandemic. That may be a while yet. And, I have to wonder at the salt content of last nights Mexican food “Taco Tuesday” meal. I wonder if it had anything to do with my inability to breathe… until I know for sure, I think I’ll take a vacation from Mexican food. Gonna miss it…
Tuesday, April 27, 2021 — My visit with the new cardiologist went well. He doesn’t think I’m in heart failure, which is exactly what I believe. Score one point! LOL He wants to see me in three weeks and he will have all of my prior test results before then to see exactly what’s going on. He did ask me why I was seeing him, my third cardiologist. I said I went from #1 to #2 because my insurance changed, and I’m seeing you, #3 because I wanted a second opinion. The second cardiologist put me on all kinds of medication and it made me sicker than I was before I started taking them, and after three months time, my heart only improved 5%. Not worth the side effects. He wants me to wear a heart monitor and will arrange for that and one more test before I see him in three weeks. We’ll see what happens. Meanwhile, it’s Tuesday and we’re going to do “Taco Tuesday” with the neighbors.
Take care, be safe and be sure to tell those you love that you love them. Once again, I’ll repeat — we’re not out of the woods just yet. My nephew-in-law was just diagnosed with COVID-19. I don’t know why he didn’t get vaccinated. I hope he’s o.k.
Sunday, April 25, 2021 — “It’s raining, it’s pouring…” Actually, it’s just a nice, gentle sprinkle, which I really appreciate since I transferred some of my seedlings into the layout the other day.
Much needed moisture… Mana from the heavens
We received an e-mail from the Tuesday Crew leader the other day. They’re going to start up the regular Tuesday work sessions, beginning this coming Tuesday, the 27th. Robert has insisted that he won’t be going because I have an appointment with the cardiologist and he wants to be there. I’ll need to send an e-mail, letting them know he won’t be there so won’t need to be picked up that day.
Living with someone who has dementia can be so frustrating. You can’t get mad at them–well, you can, but it doesn’t do any good. I’ve noticed Robert asking the same question more than once has increased. As has his fatigue in the afternoons. \
We had a real set-to the other day. He was downstairs watering the layout and I went down to join him and to check on the bits of transplants I’d put in the other day. I noticed that they didn’t get watered, so I went to get the watering can, filled it from the faucet and proceeded to go water the cuttings. He stopped me and angrily said, “What are you doing? I watered everything on the layout.” I replied that he’d missed a couple of the cuttings I’d put in. He angrily replied, “If you’re going to come behind me and check on me, then I’ll just quit watering the layout.” I came back with a short, “NO! You don’t have to do that. You always jump to the extreme. I’m only watering the things you missed.” I proceeded to water the missed cuttings and then went upstairs. The next day I gave him a card saying “I love you more today than yesterday — <open the card> — you really got on my nerves yesterday.” We sat down and had a heart-to-heart talk about how he jumps to the extreme position rather than accepting that he may have actually missed watering a particular area. I told him we had to work together and back one another up — it couldn’t be an all or nothing situation. He apologized and agreed. That’s not saying he won’t do it again, but I couldn’t let his mindset remain unchallenged. I let a lot of things slide right on by and never bring them to his attention. I have a hard time accepting his challenging what I’m doing, which he does more and more these days.
Which brings me to his complaint about the positioning of clothing in our closet. My area of the closet is at the very front and the light switch for the closet is on the wall just inches away from where my clothes hang. Some time ago, he asked me quite firmly to not allow the clothes to move to the front of the clothes rod because he couldn’t reach the light switch. Okay… duly noted, and precautions were taken to not do that anymore. Then, absolute ages later, but occuring just this last week was the comment, “I wish you wouldn’t push all of your clothes away from the wall. I can’t get to my housecoat when you do that (he hangs his housecoat at the end of my section of the rod.” I was totally speechless. I truly didn’t know what to say. He was now complaining that I was doing exactly what he’d asked me to do some time ago. I couldn’t think of anything to say other than, “You asked me to keep the clothes away from the wall and I do that. Now you’re saying I shouldn’t do that?” LOL Why don’t you hang your housecoat in the very front of my area and then you won’t have to hunt for it. Ah me…. such is life. He looked at me and realized that he’d just asked me not to do what he’d asked me to do ages ago. It took me a bit to get over the fact that he was oblivious to what he’d asked me to do before, but now that he’s having a bit of trouble accessing his housecoat, it’s because of something I did.
Letting things go is a skill I’m really working on, day by day, and at times, moment by moment.
Be safe, take good care of yourself and remember to tell those you love that you love them. We’re not quite out of the woods yet with the COVID-19 pandemic, so if you haven’t got your vaccination–please get it. Protect yourself and those you love (and even those you don’t know!). Blessings to all…
Wednesday, April 14, 2021 — More plants for the layout arrived today, and even though it was COLD and the wind was fierce, I got the plants in the ground, fed and watered.
These are Ajuga and are supposed to tolerate our cold winters. They’ll have a year to get their feet established beforeThere are four “Burgundy Glow” Ajuga, four Chocolate Chip Ajuga, and one “Metallica Crispa” Ajuga.I happened to notice this ground cover is blooming sweet little white cupped flowers! It’s another great ground cover from Miniforest.com in Mulino, Oregon.
Joanne of Cup on the Bus mentioned that she had lost her crochet hook. I wrote and told her I thought I had one (or two–LOL) So I broke out my collection of hooks and sorted out a 0 and a 00, photographed them and e-mailed her to verify this was what she was in need of. It was indeed, so I packaged the two up and put them in the mail to her this morning. Here’s a photo of ‘the collection’ a combination of mine, my step-mother-in-law’s and my mother-in-law’s collection. My second step-mother-in-law didn’t do any crafting at all, and when she did, years ago, she worked in ceramics, painting greenware and having it fired. I’ve done a bit of that myself, years ago. For whatever reason, I was never all that fond of it as a craft. I really prefer fabric or paper. Speaking of which, here’s the latest completed quilt, which will go to the Tehachapi Depot Railroad Museum’s gift shop:
I have two more quilts ready for binding — one has the binding sewn on but not sewn down on the back side, and the other has binding cut but not applied to the quilt. I have yet another set of fabrics set aside for another child’s quilt. After that, who knows what I’ll work on. Lots to choose from!
Be safe, take good care of yourself (I had my medication checkup today and obtained a referral for a second opinion from a different cardiologist), and agreed that if he recommended a pace maker, I would agree to it. Be sure to tell those you love that you love them.
Sunday, April 11, 2021 — I really do need to write more often. If I don’t, things pile up and then my posts become mini-books and a real bother for people to read.
The most amazing phone call came this afternoon–from my cardiologist, whom I had not seen in 6-7 months. He wanted to know the outcome of the pancreas mass situation. I thanked him for calling and said that I did see the Gastroenterologist he’d referred me to and another MRI was done and the results were that they didn’t see any mass. I next told him I had to be truthful to him by saying that all of the medications he’d prescribed for my heart were making me ill so I quit taking them and reverted to my primary meds — blood pressure, thyroid, antidepressant and the nebulizer for my breathing. I said I felt as long as I was able to do what I needed to do that I didn’t feel a pacemaker was necessary at this time. I said if I were in a critical situation and my life depended on the installation, then I would accept it, but this way it felt like a voluntary surgery and I wasn’t convinced it was warranted. He thanked me and said if I ever needed his help to contact him. I assured him I would.
This is the first time in years that a doctor has actually cared enough about my health to reach out to me to see how I was doing. The down side is I have a really difficult time understanding him as his accent is so heavy. But, in the future, should I need a cardiologist, he is the one I will be reaching out to.
Weeding of the layout continues, and we’re seeing more and more plants come out of hibernation. And, I’ve ordered several more ground covers so they should be here soon. I also purchased eight more solar lights for the perimeter of the layout. We go out at night to check and make sure they’re all working, and last night I came in and ordered another eight lights! LOL The whole center of the layout looks like the ocean at night…black as the ace of spades! The seedlings that I have going need to go into the ground but I’m afraid they won’t survive because they’re too fragile. I’ll have to figure out a way to protect them until they’ve matured enough to be on their own.
Robert has begun moving some of the buildings back out onto the layout. We brought them indoors last fall as they would have been harmed by the severe weather.
This is a refinery tank farm that Robert built from scratch. Next to it is one of the new solar lights. This is another scratch built building with a working light over the door and lighting inside. Really cool looking at night.This is another Michael’s Craft store wood buildings. Robert put a base under it and it has a bit more weathering to be done on the roof, but other than that, it’s just a rustic cabin in the mountains.
We had our first real train wreck this past week. Wednesday and Thursday were very windy days and when Robert took a train out to run on the layout, the wind caught two of the cars as they crossed the transfer bridge and tossed them over the side. It wasn’t pretty, and the cars were fortunately, quite damaged. I say fortunately, since they were two that had been continually derailing on the layout. Karma? LOL I don’t know, but here’s photos of the damage.
Wheels, couplers, steps and other miscellaneous pieces all over the ground. Such is the life of a railroad on a windy day.
Not much else to share from here other than our days are increasingly pleasant, with sunshine and blue skies.
Be safe, be well and take good care of yourself. Be grateful for each new day and the wonders it brings. Be sure to tell those you love that you love them.
Thursday, April 1, 2021 — Just a short note of sharing a bit of insight on Robert’s dementia.
We went to Costco yesterday and at one point I looked behind me and Robert wasn’t there so I went looking for him. He was standing next to a clothing display, looking lost. I motioned to him and he brightened and started pushing our cart my way. Last night, he said he wanted to tell me something about our trip to Costco. He said that he’d lost me at one point and he looked around and didn’t know what he needed to do, why he was there or where I was. He said there were people everywhere but he was completely lost, looking for me and finally he saw me. He said, “You need to keep track of me. I get completely lost.” I told him that I did keep track of him and that’s why when he wasn’t right behind me, I went looking for him. I told him that he walks a lot slower now and so I always stop and wait for him so I don’t lose him.
So strange that the dementia shows up when you least expect it. I know there will come a time when he won’t want to go to stores with me because they cause him too much confusion and anxiety, but we’ll deal with that when the time comes.
Meanwhile, be safe and take care of yourself. Know that you are an important part of this world and this life. Be sure to tell those you love that you love them.
Tuesday, March 30, 2021 — Thankfully, every day is different, because the past couple of days have had some really difficult moments in them. From Robert having nightmares and incidents of confusion, anxiety and depression, to my own fight with muscle cramping. It’s been a real roller-coaster ride.
But, we’ve worked together on the layout for the past couple of days, planting new plants and pulling weeds. Oh my word, the weeds!! Hundreds of them and some no bigger than 1/4″ in size. Like Ellen says in her blog, “Stuff From Ellen’s Head” it’s time to get after the weeds and to see what lived (or didn’t) through the winter.
Most of the things on the Sunset Pacific Ry. survived quite nicely. Some didn’t. The weeds? Yeah, they made it and then some.
Herewith some photos taken this afternoon:
The Pomegranate tree in the foreground hasn’t come out of hibernation yet. There’s a second one off to the left that is also waiting for warmer weather.While I pulled weeds, Robert did a bit of track maintenance. The weeds don’t care where they grow, but preferably, it seems, it’s between the rails and under the ties where we can’t get to them quite so easily.This is Vinca Minor, a trailing vine that not only survived the winter, but is full of blooms and new shoots.Two new houses for the layout — nothing special, just a couple of wood bird houses that we picked up at Michael’s craft store and Robert gave an overall coat of paint. They work… and will look better when we get some people on the scene along with some plants closer to the buildings. speaking of which, the red pot with what appears to be a mere stick is actually a Crepe Myrtle and we’re waiting patiently for it to come out of hybernation. We planted three of them in the Fall and felt it was the wrong time to plant, but in checking one of the trees that looked like it hadn’t made it through the winter, I saw green under the outer skin of brown, so keep a positive outlook — we might see pink flowers yet!The Japanese Maple has started to leaf out and it’s going to be a very full tree when it’s finished.A very hearty Perennial, the Dianthus all came through with shining colors, as did a lot of the Allysum, planted further down the way. The gray paving stones are the base for the new highway that’s going in across the center of the layout. We have numerous vehicles to display so that’ll be fun to add to some of the areas.Ruby is always on hand to watch the work and to check for stray lizards.The miniature rose bushes are beginning to leaf out and will be sporting buds before long. The ground covers all appear to be doing well except for one plant that doesn’t care for the cold and part of it died off.Itty bitty weeds … all over the place!
Not much else to report so will close with blessings to all. Be safe, take care of yourself and those you love. Be sure to tell those you love that you love them. One other thing that I’d like to share came from DKZody’s blog, https://dkzody.wordpress.com/2021/03/29/weve-been-doing-this-for-over-a-year/ that I have followed for a while now. She wrote about a literary journal called “Tales from Six Feet Apart…” It contains essays and stories from blogs and writers who shared their viewpoints on living through the pandemic. Phenomenal works and it shares views that made me feel doubly blessed in this life. Check it out… it’s more than worth the time and effort.
Thursday, March 25, 2021 — I missed yet another phone conference call with my support group today. I got an e-mail about it a couple of days ago, but neglected to write a note for the front of my computer. And, I was especially tired this morning because I did so much yard work and driving around doing errands yesterday, so I napped this morning and that added to the ‘do nothing’ day today.
But I do have photos to share–two Crown sparrows at my office window. Took a bit of waiting to get them both with their heads up out of the seed, but I got them! So cute!!
Yesterday I had four Butternut Squash seedlings left from my ‘give-away’ event so I planted them in the front Iris and Daffodil bed. I thought I’d caught the tops of the daffodils but see that they got cropped off, but my seedlings made it through the night o.k.
And, my order of flat-head quilting pins arrived today, so I had to change out the pins in my pin cushion. The younger grandson loves to rearrange the pins whenever he comes up to visit, so when he sees these, he’ll have a ball, figuring out designs to make with them.
And, I’ve been working hard at getting the next quilt ready to go to the long arm service. The top is finished and I’ve been trying to get the back pieced together so there’s a good 3″ extra fabric all around (one of the requirements for submitting a quilt top to a long arm service is that the backing fabric must have excess fabric all around to make it easier to affix the quilt ‘sandwich’ to the machine.
My brain isn’t quite as sharp today so I’ve had trouble doing the calculations to put borders together so the backing (the gold/brown/cream fabric piece on the ironing board) is large enough to cover the actual top plus the 3″ allowance for the long arm quilting machine. I’ll be adding a large, final border of chocolate brown with white polka dots and that should make the back more than large enough and I can surrender the quilt to the long arm service for quilting. The bear fabric was part of the huge batch of fabric that my sister sent to me, but the cream and brown floral print both came from my new quilting friend that I met at the sewing machine repair shop. It works quite well with the cream background of the bear squares! I have about 7 completed blocks left over — not enough for a quilt in and of themselves, but put with something else, they’ll work. I had thought of making a Disappearing Nine Patch, so maybe I’ll do that pattern with them. We shall see.
Our weather has returned to cold, cold and windy today. Yesterday was gorgeous — a bit cool so you still needed a sweatshirt or flannel shirt, but the sun was out and there was very little wind. Today, however, it’s back to true winter cold with the thermometer never reaching above 40 deg., which is very cold here due to the fierce winds that blow up the canyon.
We had planned on putting our new plants in the layout today, but the weather didn’t cooperate, so maybe tomorrow. I did get out yesterday and together Robert and I pulled weeds on the layout. I have to say these weeds were only about 1/4″ to 1/2″ in size, so really didn’t amount to much, but there were hundreds of them!! LOL
Do take care. Stay safe and practice your masking and social distancing. And be sure to tell those you love that you love them.
Friday, March 19, 2021 — It’s been a while since I posted a link to the web cam from next door. This link brings up the view from March 8th, and it’s just beautiful.
Our weather is starting to warm up and we’ve been working at getting a few more plants ready to be put out into the layout. There are still a number of bare places that need some work. I’ll be out taking photos of the layout as soon as the weather warms up a bit more. Robert has been watering the layout consistently, marking the calendar every time he waters. He began pulling weeds along the tracks yesterday and said there were still a number of them left to be pulled. I’ll go out and help him tomorrow.
Be safe, be well and take care. We received our 2nd COVID-19 vaccination this past Monday. Robert had no reaction other than a sore arm. I, on the other hand, have had three days of misery with Fibromyalgia pain and fatigue. My arm swelled and turned pink. It also itched like crazy. I felt half-way normal for the first time this week on waking yesterday morning. Granted, it was almost noon, but still… it felt good to almost be back to normal again.
Remember to tell those you love that you love them, and please get vaccinated if you’re able. Everyone needs to work together to combat this virus.
Monday, March 15, 2021 — We got our 2nd COVID-19 vaccination today. So far, I’ve felt nothing at all from the injection. We shall see what tonight and tomorrow brings. I’ve heard and read that’s when people experience a reaction to the vaccine.
It was snowing and blowing like crazy this morning so we left at 12:15 p.m. for our 2:00 p.m. vaccination appointment. The appointment was in Rosamond, located 39 miles from here, which is comparable to the drive to Bakersfield in the opposite direction. Once we got down off the mountain, the sky was clear and the sun was shining, but it was deadly cold and windy. We arrived a bit more than an hour early, but still managed to get in, get innoculated and back home by 2:30 p.m. Robert only yelled at me one time during the drive back home. As we came out of the parking lot of the Rosamon Library, rather than turning left to go back out to the freeway, Robert pointed to the right — to take the back road home. As I drove, I thought about saying something about stopping at Wendy’s for a frosty, but we had discussed stopping for a late lunch in Rosamond and agreed we should just get home and get out of the cold. So, I didn’t say anything. When I reached the intersection of Highline Rd., I made the turn to head towards town and home. My only stop from that point was at the mailbox.
When we got home, Robert mentioned that we should have gone home a different way and stopped at Wendy’s. I told him I thought about it but he hadn’t said anything. Once again, he makes the suggestion AFTER we’re home. I received a really neat Origami figure and a Happy New Year’s card from my Origami friend, Chila Caldera. She and her husband, Hank Morris, moved from Rosamond to Chino Valley, AZ a few years ago. Included in the card was a one page collage of photos–really neat images of train layouts (Hank’s a model railroader) and other sights. I checked it out and then took the photo collage and Origami figure (actually a pop-open candy holder in which I put a small Snicker’s candy bar) in to share with Robert. I put them on the arm of his chair and he said kind of curtly, “Why do you bring this stuff in to me? Do you think I need to see it or comment on it??” I responded calmly that I thought he might find it interesting and reached down to remove it. He put his hand up and said, “Never mind. I’ll look at it. I don’t know why you bring stuff to me to read.” A few minutes later, I commented that the snow was really coming down and he barked at me saying he’d seen the snow falling. I took it that he wanted peace and quiet. Okaaay…
I think he’s still a bit ticked because we have this ongoing situation with Ruby, the neighbor’s cat. We’ve ran the whole pendulum from taking her in, allowing her to stay indoors at night to shutting her down (the neighbor and I agreed that their new dog would never get used to Ruby if she was over here 95% of the time), not allowing her in our home and stopping the feeding. I have to say that we discovered she’d pooped and peed in my office AND underneath the coffee counter downstairs. Robert cleaned up the mess downstairs and I cleaned up the mess in my office. Ruby was officially kitty-non-gratis and put out of the house. I was told to quit feeding her so she would be forced to go back home. We soon discovered that this was not a viable solution.
The other day I went out to toss bread out to the birds and Ruby was immediately by my side on the railing of the deck. I began to pet her. I could see she’d lost a lot of weight and I could feel her spine and rib cage. She began gobbling the bread as though she was starving. It sounded as though she was actually crying. I went in and told Robert I was concerned that she wasn’t getting food other than what she caught in the wild and I wasn’t comfortable with that. I felt it was cruel, so I declared that I would begin feeding her again. Then the weather went south and I decided to let her indoors to keep her from freezing to death. Robert was NOT a happy camper. So for now, she’s in and I’m feeding her. But Robert is not happy — I don’t know what to do to keep peace in the house and I don’t know what or if, I should say anything to the neighbor. What can I say?? Notwithstanding that the new dog does nothing but bark all day long, the situation with Ruby is causing friction here at home.
Anyone have any suggestions???
Be safe, take care of yourself and remember to tell those you love that you love them.
Wednesday, March 10, 2021 — It’s snowing again. It snowed during the night last night and then by 11:00 a.m. this morning it was all gone, the sun was shining and it looked glorious. I took a chance and did a quick run to pick up a vegetable steamer that was being given away on the Buy Nothing Tehachapi group. I was selected to receive it. It was a steamer almost identical to one I used to own. That one is now in ‘steamer heaven’–it surely earned its place as I used it every week. It made the best rice ever. This steamer is just that — a steamer. I’m a bit disappointed, but I’ll still be able to steam veggies and I’ll take the rice cooker and put it out for someone to take.
I subscribe to a number of blogs on dementia, one of which is called “Memory for Two“. Her husband has Alzheimer’s dementia and his disease is more profound than Robert’s at this point. She posts almost every day and the posts are always accompanied by a positive statement or quote. Today’s post and the subsequent quote really hit me. It’s the underlying pain of knowing that you’re not where you thought you would be at this point in your life, nor is it where you want to be, but it’s where you are and you must accept it and deal with it the best way that you can.
Blessings to all… be safe, take care of yourself and remember that you are important and you are loved. Be sure to remember to tell those YOU love that you love them.
Wednesday, March 3, 2021 — Another day is coming to a close. I did get some things accomplished today–got the car smogged so I can renew the registration, made Butterscotch Brownies for the girls at the Post Office, and washed/capped/sliced a half-flat of strawberries I’d purchased from the roadside vendor yesterday afternoon.
Sadly, the strawberries turned out to be rubbery. I’ve never had strawberries that felt rubbery before. Weird–and they didn’t have a strong flavor, either. Coming back home tonight, I saw the same vendor and stopped to tell him about the strawberries. He couldn’t speak English, but understood what I was saying. He basically told me he’d refund my money but I told him no, I’d already sliced them up and would make jam out of them. Robert, meanwhile, with his fine-tuned taste buds (not!) was wolfing up a bowl of them like they were gold. Ah me… LOL So, I have two containers of cleaned strawberries in the refrigerator, one of which has Splenda sweetener in them and the other is plain. Robert saw me using the Splenda and said, “I thought you put sugar on them.” I laughed and said he was diabetic and I tried to keep sugar out of his diet whenever I could–notwithstanding that I buy him cookies and candy. But, I know that the splenda is better for him than sugar, so use it on things where I remember to use it.
He put my new bird feeder up outside the office window and we had birds within 3 minutes. Amazing how they find it… Hang it up and voila! There they are, appetite at the ready.
There were all kinds of “Hoodies” feasting on the ground, but these Rosy Finches are more likely to feed from a birdseed feeder than on the ground. I love their little beaks and how dainty they are when poking around in the seeds.
There was a discussion yesterday about prayer flags and wind chimes and using things to lift your spirits and keep one in a positive mood. I promised photos of my wind chimes, and here they are:
If you hadn’t guessed it by now, I do have a thing about hummingbirds! LOL The little black vases were a gift to me from our friends who had gone to Ecuadore to visit family and friends. They brought back souveniers, and this was one of them. The gold ring with the pink and aqua flowers is from a birthday card given to me several years ago from the older son.
The paintings on the wall were painted by my dear friend, Pat Stanfield. We’ve been friends (with her husband as well) since 1990, when we joined the San Diego Garden Railroad Society. When she and her husband would travel from their home in Washington state to visit their son in San Diego, they’d stop at our home and spend the night. Each visit brought a beautiful gift of her work along with a bottle of chocolate wine. (The GOOD stuff from certain CostCo stores!) Anyway, I can’t enjoy wind chimes outdoors because it’s too windy here, but I can enjoy them here in my office.
One final note on the situation with Robert’s daily pill regimen. I took Ellen’s advice (Ellen of the “Stuff From Ellen’s Head” blog) and have set two alarms on my cell phone. I told Robert I was concerned about his pill-taking and he said he felt he did o.k. I said, yes, but you’ve taken the wrong pills on the wrong day and at other times you’ve forgot them entirely. He agreed that he’d had problems but didn’t feel it was bad enough that he couldn’t keep track of the pills himself (that said, I do all of the filling of his pill box and have done for some time now). I told him I would set it in the kitchen cupboard underneath my own pill box (note that he watched me do this as I’m telling him what I’m going to do to help him stay on track with his meds). At the same time I set a separate small dish by his place mat that will hold any pills to be taken.
A bit later, he calls to me in a worried voice, asking me what I did with his pill box. He seemed really upset that I took his pill box away, so I told him I would put his pill box back on the counter by his place mat. In the evening, I’ll put his morning pills there — when the alarm on my phone goes off in the morning, if he hasn’t taken his pills, I can remind him. If he has taken them, I can put his evening pills there and let him know that his evening pills are there for him to take with his evening meal. A lot of the time we eat at around 4:00 p.m., which is early, but it works out better for his blood sugar numbers. Today, when I got back from running my errands it was a bit after 4:00 p.m. and I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes, so I fixed us sandwiches. Then I went to his dish and retrieved his evening meds and put them on his plate as he watched — so he could take them right then. Now tonight, I’ll put tomorrow morning’s meds in the dish and we’ll see how this works for us. It might be what we needed to keep on some kind of schedule. I know my aunt, who was diabetic before she passed, had to eat at certain times, as does the son of friends of ours–they were both Type 1 diabetic, meaning they had to inject insulin and had to keep track of their meal times. Thankfully, Robert is only Type 2, which is being controlled by medication, diet and exercise.
The only thing I know for sure about this life is that it can get very complicated, and for sure it can get wearisome, but it has its moments of beauty, and I shall endeavor to look for those as much as I can. Blessings to all. Be safe, take good care of yourself and know that you are loved. Be sure to tell those you love that you love them. And thank you especially, for all of your comments and suggestions. They’re very much appreciated.
Tuesday, March 2, 2021 — Upward and onward… I’ve been unpacking the boxes of stuff that had been stored in the two upright cabinets in the laundry room. I packed the boxes a couple of days before the flooring remodel, so if I were to think about purging (seriously), I know I could possibly jettison a lot of the stuff that I kept and just let it go. I still might do just that. Tammy was here for 3 hours today, and I had her cleaning upstairs and downstairs. She says I am her only client. I smiled and said, “I can keep you busy!” So I’ve asked her to come back next Tuesday for another 3 hours. In unpacking the boxes, I decided what I would have her do–help me purge this house! It’s going to be wonderful!
Yesterday was a really eventful day. Robert drove his truck over to the repair shop so it could be smog tested for the registration renewal. I followed in the Honda in case they needed to keep the truck. After the testing (it passed on the first go round, thankfully), I paid the bill and told Robert I would see him back at the house. I was hungry so began fixing lunch as soon as I got home. Robert arrived about 15 min. later and was exhausted. At 6:15 p.m., I was at the computer and he came in and said he was tired and was going to bed. We discussed what had transpired that day that would have made him so tired and the only thing we could come up with was his driving his truck. The stress and anxiety took a lot out of him. I told him that pretty much put an end to any driving. He finally went to bed at 8:00 p.m. after deliberating on whether to take a shower or not. He did take a shower — I doubted he could sleep if he didn’t, but he forgot to take his evening pills and I didn’t question him so when I checked his pill box this morning, there sat his pills from last night. I really need to be better at keeping on top of his pills. He sometimes takes the pills from the wrong day/cup in the medicine box. When I went to refill his pill box this morning, I noticed that the morning pills from yesterday were there, yet I know for a fact he took his pills yesterday morning. That means he took the morning pills from another day. <sigh> Notwithstanding his severe fatigue, his ability to come up with words is becoming increasingly noticeable, and frustrating for him.
This afternoon I got my things ready for the post office and told him I needed to go to the credit union as well as the post office. He replied with his usual comment, “Why?” He really doesn’t want me anywhere but here at the house with him. I told him because I had to mail a birthday package and I needed to get $2 bills for the youngest grandson’s birthday card. He turns 15 this year so that meant I needed 16-$2 bills (one for each year of his birth and another to grow on). Karma was with me when I went to the credit union and the teller was able to go to their vault and pull out a stack of 100-$2 bills! I was all set to face the horrendous task of hitting every bank in Tehachapi, acquiring the $2 bills one or two at a time. (I had to do it this way a couple of years ago and vowed to save them through the year instead, which I did this time, but I only had 5 collected. They really are scarce.) Anyway, everyone’s birthday is taken care of until later in the year. (Though my great-niece is due to deliver her baby on the 20th of April — the day before my birthday!) I need to make a quilt for the little one.
Speaking of quilts, I have one in the makings — all the blocks are cut out and ready to be put together. When I get the top done, I’m going to take it in to the quilt shop and pick out the backing fabric and pay to have it put together. No more stressing over getting it quilted. I like doing the binding — I sit at night and stitch the binding down by hand while watching t.v. It’s a very enjoyable task for me.
I ordered a set of prayer flags from Amazon. Years ago, I would receive a set of paper prayer flags from the Save Tibet foundation, but somehow I got off their list so haven’t received any in years. One of my bloggers (Stuff from Ellen’s Head) wrote about hanging prayer flags and it reminded me that I haven’t had any for some time. I immediately set about searching for a nice set. I found a set of flags on Amazon.com: “Hands Of Tibet Handmade Tibetan Affirmation Prayer Flags Happiness Courage Love Tranquility Wisdom. Each String has six vibrantly Colored Flags and Handmade.”
There were hundreds of other flag choices, but this particular set spoke to me, reminding me of the need to remain strong and positive while weathering this life of caregiving to a loved one with dementia. Robert just rolled his eyes when he saw me hanging them from the railing of the deck. He tolerates my love of the metaphysical side of life. I told him seeing them made me feel calm, and they do. And when these are tattered and taken by the winds, I will order a new set, and I am resolved to always have prayer flags hanging from our deck so all I need to do to lift my mood is to look out my window.
Blessings to all. Be safe, take care and be good to yourself. You are loved and you are needed. Be sure to tell those you love that you love them.
Tuesday, February 23, 2021 — Some days are just better than others. Today I acquired a set of dishes (free) that I believe match the ones our younger son and his wife own.
I’m almost positive they’re the same dishes. If they aren’t, they’ll at least go with them as their set is blue and white too.
And I totally spoiled myself today. Yesterday, I gave Robert one more chance to go with me to get a haircut. He declined. I honestly think he’s afraid to leave the house until after we’ve had all of our COVID-19 vaccinations, and I hope that’s what’s holding him back. I know people with dementia often develop bad personal hygiene habits, like not wanting to bathe or change into clean clothes. He’s not giving up his showers just yet, but has taken to wearing the same clothes for several days (fresh underwear and socks, but the same sweatshirt over a t-shirt). He did allow me to trim his beard and shave his neck a couple of weeks ago, but still… he’s looking very shaggy and close to homeless. I told him I didn’t like him looking like a bum and he said he didn’t mind at all since he wasn’t leaving the house. <sigh> I’m sincerely hoping this is just a temporary thing because he looks so much better when he’s ‘cleaned up.’ Anyway, I called the beauty shop and checked to see if my hairdresser could fit me in for a shampoo, haircut and blow dry. I usually only get a haircut, so this was a real treat for me. I told her I felt like being pampered and it did feel wonderful! I told Robert when she washes my hair, she’ll give my scalp a massage and I could really use a bit of ahhhh treatment right now.
And, I received word that the flooring guy will be here tomorrow morning, bright and early, to install the new floor. I have the two cabinets emptied but need to empty the 4-drawer file cabinet so it can be moved out into my garage. It’s going to be SOOOO nice! LOL
That’s all for now. Do take good care of yourself, and when the opportunity presents itself, give yourself a treat–whether it’s coffee and a pastry in a shop where you can sit and read, or just taking a walk by yourself when you haven’t had the time/opportunity to do that. Whatever form the treatment takes, be good to yourself. We all need to recognize that we’re special and we deserve to take care of ourselves, inside and out. Oh, and be sure to tell those you love that you love them — and practice safe COVID-19 behavior!! LOL You know the drill — mask, wash and distance. Hugs and blessings to all.
Monday, February 22, 2021 — SUCCESS! We received a call from Adventist Health Tehachapi Hospital about 3:55 p.m. today and the person calling wanted to know if we would be able to come to the hospital to get our first COVID-19 vaccination. They’d had a cancellation and we were on the list (probably multiple times, considering how many times I’d called and posted our information online). I said we could be there in 10 min. Robert had just left for a walk and I was snoozing on the couch. I quickly changed my top to a short sleeved one, grabbed my purse and keys and headed for the car.
I found Robert had only made it to the neighbor’s house, right near the end of the cul-de-sac. They were standing in the street talking, and I could tell that he had been on his way to do his walk when he stopped to visit with the neighbor. I pulled up, told him the hospital had called and we could get our shots if we could make it to the hospital ASAP. Whoo hoo. On the way to the hospital, Robert said they were talking about the next door neighbor, who had been taken to the hospital by ambulance earlier today. He’d had a caregiver or visiting nurse show up almost daily for the past several weeks–after his release from his previous hospitalization. He has had brain bleeds and strokes, so is not doing well at all. His wife has Alzheimer’s and is very frail. They have one son, who lives up in the Bay area. We haven’t seen the son for several months, although I know that he’s been in touch with them by phone. Sad situation.
After we got our shots and waited the required 15 min. to see if there was any adverse reaction, we were told we could leave. I drove away and as I came out of the hospital parking lot, I asked Robert if he would like a Wendy’s Frosty. I said since we were so close, I thought it would be a nice treat. I told him I’d pay if he wanted one. He said yes, so off we went. Ten minutes later we were sitting in the parking lot, watching trucks moving in and out of the station and spoon eating our frosty. Another 15 minutes later Robert announced he was ready to leave if I was and so I took us back home, stopping by the mailbox on my way.
That’s all the news that’s fit to print for now. So far, so good. No reactions at all and I never even felt the needle go in–totally painless injection. We go back on the 15th of March for shot #2 and apparently, we can expect to feel some effects from that shot. No matter–at least we’ll be protected. Speaking of which, do protect yourself and those you love — mask up, wash up, and stay 6′ away from others. Our son even wears his face mask inside our home when he comes to visit. Oh, and be sure to tell those you love that you love them. It’s really important.
Friday, February 19, 2021 — Here’s the bird panel. I had it laid out on my cutting table and Robert spotted it and asked where it came from. I guiltily said, “From the 5 Hearts quilt shop. When I dropped off the quilt to be quilted, the owner showed me the completed quilt that she’d made with the panel and it was so inexpensive I decided to buy it.” He said it would make a nice quilt for his feet!! LOL Done! LOL I was afraid he’d complain about me buying more fabric, but nope, not a negative vibe at all. Joy, joy!
Well, that’s all for tonight. I have to go help Robert with the t.v. controller. Be safe, know you are blessed and there are those who love you and are thinking of you. Be sure to tell those you love that you love them.
Thursday, February 18, 2021 — My doctor’s visit went rather well, except I was told my kidney function was lower than normal, indicating that I had kidney disease. Well, heck fire, just throw that onto the list! LOL I won’t be sharing this news with Robert, that’s for sure. He doesn’t need the additional worry and since it was just the first bloodwork that shows any kind of problem, it could just be a fluke. The good news is that when I signed out I mentioned that we really had been trying to get our COVID vaccinations and hadn’t been successful. The assistant went online right then and there and tried to get the two of us signed up and had a bit of trouble so she took down our names and birthdates and said she’d get us signed up and would be in touch. Out of sight!! We may get our shots afterall! Hooray…
After the dr’s office I headed to Home Depot where I did some major shopping: 1) picked up the flooring material for the laundry room, 2) bought a 72 spot self-watering seed starter kit, plant stakes and plant wire for the seeds/plants I ordered night before last from Park Seeds (once they’re started and large enough to survive outdoors, they’ll go into the garden railroad), 3) ordered the new washer and dryer and set an installation date for February 26th, and 4) bought trash bags for the kitchen, Swifer wet pads for the housekeeper. By the time I finished, I was exhausted physically and still had the bags of donations laying in the back seat — transferred from the trunk so we could put the flooring boxes in the trunk. When I was ordering the dryer, I had to select gas or electric and my mind just couldn’t wrap around which type we had–although I felt 99% sure it was gas, and so a call home was necessary. Robert answered after I started talking to the answering machine and said yes, it was gas. I thanked him and said I would be home shortly.
I headed home and on impulse stopped at Kohnen’s toget a Poor Boy sandwich to share with Robert. They were closed. <sigh> So much for that… decided I wasn’t meant to buy any food to go and would make hamburgers once I got home, which I did. I’d almost reached home when I remembered the donations on the back seat. I promptly turned around and then looked at the clock on the dash and realized the thrift shop was closed as it was 3:30 p.m. Turning back around, I headed home. By 5:00 p.m. I was in my p.j.’s and ready for some couch time.
Here are photos of the plants/seeds that are on their way:
This new WordPress program is the pits so the photos aren’t arranged as I would have liked them. The one plant (Fire Spinner) is an iceplant, which I’m sure will freeze in the winter, but according to their page, this variety should do o.k. We shall see. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and I do want to get the layout covered in flowering groundcover plants. It’ll be beautiful. I’ve already considered the time when Robert is unable to continue doing the watering — I’ll pay someone to put in a sprinkler system, either a drip irrigation (probably) or sprinklers and set it on a timer. I won’t allow the layout to just wither and die.
Not much more to share at this point so will close this with blessings for all. Take good care of yourself. I know I’m bad at doing that and I should take my own advice at times, but there it is. 🙂 I did get one quilt top and backing taken in to the quilt shop to get it quilted. When it gets done I will bind it, put my label on and donate it to the hospital. I have another one ready to be quilted (the one I pulled all of the stitching from) and I will quilt it and then bind it. While at the fabric shop, I was shown a panel of birds and bought it. Sucker!!! LOL I swore I wasn’t going to buy any more fabric until I’d used most of what I already have. But I couldn’t resist – it was inexpensive and so pretty. I’ll share photos next time I post. Do take care… and be sure to tell those you love that you love them.
Thursday, February 18, 2021 — Fifty-four years ago today I was expecting our first child. Amazing time in our lives. He’s turned out to be a hard worker, loving husband (four months yesterday!) and helpful son. We’re very proud of him. He’s worked for the railroad over 25 years and his retirement isn’t that far away now. Seems strange to have a child old enough to be thinking of retirement, especially since we don’t feel that old ourselves. Robert has been retired for 22 years now. Time does fly…
The owner of the flooring company I called the other day was here taking measurements and we discussed the options for flooring in the laundry room. I told him we’d decided to let the bathroom floor go for now and just renovate the laundry room. I showed him the sample of “Click and lock” flooring that I picked up from Home Depot and he said that it was the latest thing and he highly recommended it for the laundry room because it’s waterproof. He e-mailed me a quote within a couple of hours and I accepted it. I will purchase the flooring material and he will supply the labor to clear the room, including removing appliances, my 4 drawer file cabinet, two 8′ x30″ storage cabinets and will take the deep sink off the wall and re-install it once the flooring is installed.
After the man had left, Robert turned to me and asked what I’d told him about his diabetes. I couldn’t understand why he thought I’d said anything at all about his health conditions and said so. He said he wondered if the man thought it strange that he (Robert) didn’t take charge of the discussion about what we needed done. I told him that since I was the one that called, he obviously felt I was the one that he needed to work with. I reminded him that I don’t make decisions without his input. I then asked him if he was o.k. because he seemed a bit down and distracted. He said he worried about his diabetes because he sees so many obituaries in the paper where people died from complications from diabetes. I told him I was concerned about my own health, but tried to not let it bother me. He agreed and said he was really worried when I went in for my eye procedures. He said he’d thought to himself, “Don’t mess up my wife’s eyesight. I need her to take care of me.” I kind of chuckled and said, “Yeah. If you mess up her eyes, I won’t be going anywhere anymore!” We kind of laughed at that and the tension was gone.
He really didn’t say much at all while the man was here talking about the flooring and what needed to be done. I think he felt strange that he couldn’t communicate like he would ordinarily do when dealing with service people. He’s leaving it all up to me. A bit later I told him the next thing I wanted to have done was to get the outside woodwork on the house painted. The eaves are bad and I don’t want to go through another winter without getting them fixed. He said he was worried about the money and I told him not to worry, that we had the money and it would all be fine. I told him that we couldn’t just ignore maintenance on the house because it would have to be taken care of if/when we were to ever sell the house. Best to get it done so we can enjoy it while we’re here. He agreed and said, ‘It’s only money.’ This has always been his mantra whenever we’re spending money. I’m usually the one that’s a tight-wad and he says, “It’s only money and you can’t take it with you.”
It’s strange that he’s worried more about the diabetes than he is about the dementia. I really don’t think he sees the difference in his cognitive behaviour now versus before he began having problems. It’s like the time when he wanted to pay $9,000 for an antique Chevrolet–even though he’s no longer able to drive. It’s as though there’s a gap between his perceived reality and what reality actually is.
One day at a time — one moment at a time. We will persevere. I’m still trying to get COVID-19 vaccinations for us. It’s really looking like I’ll have to drive us to Bakersfield to get them. I have an appointment with my dr. tomorrow for a medication follow-up and will ask if there’s any hope of getting vaccinated here in town any time soon. The kids wanted to come up this weekend but Robert said he didn’t want them visiting until we had our COVID vaccinations, so I told the kids not to plan on coming up until we told them we’d got our shots.
Do take care; know that we are all trying to do our best these days. Be sure to tell those you love that you love them.
I know there will come a time when he won’t want to go to stores with me because they cause him too much confusion and anxiety, but we’ll deal with that when the time comes.
