Monday, November 9, 2020 — Today is the beginning of Open Enrollment for Federal Employees Health Benefits insurance changes. Each year at this time we’re given the chance to change our health insurance plan. If we’re happy with the plan we have, we do nothing and it stays the same, except that each year the premium typically goes up. The increase never matches our COLA, so I’m faced with trying to find a plan that we can afford and that will provide us with the necessary coverage for the upcoming year. I have to look at our health and try to guess whether we’re going to have any major illnesses or surgeries. As we age, this job gets harder and harder to pull off.
Part of my depression and stress has been the completion of this task. Once done, it can’t be changed for another year unless one of us dies or there’s a major situation that would qualify us to move to another plan. I’ve never had to do that, but I’ve had to live with a bad plan choice more than once. Not good.
I managed to find a new plan that not only costs less, but has 99% of the doctors we’re already seeing as part of the in-network provider list. Robert will have to change his primary, but all of his specialists will remain the same, as will mine. This is a very big issue for me, as I want his continuity of care to remain unchanged. He gets confused enough without any insurance upheaval.
Speaking of which, we had an interesting but bizarre conversation last night. After his shower, Robert came in and said he had a small complaint to make about how I used the shower. He asked me to follow him into our master bath where he pointed out the handle (one handle controls hot/cold water flow) position on the shower. He said every time I take a shower, I leave the handle on the cold side and when he gets into the shower, he is hit with a spray of cold water. Thus, we stood there, discussing the way the handle works and without getting angry, I said I would try to always put the handle on the hot side of the control. For myself, I reach in, turn on the water and turn it to hot–wait for the water to turn warm and then turn the temperature down before stepping into the shower. Apparently, Robert gets in and THEN turns on the water… Odd, but o.k., it’s how he works the shower controls. What puzzled me was that a) he apparently didn’t think about controling the temperature of the water before he got into the shower, and felt that because I showered before him, I had set the controls to cold so he’d get blasted with cold water. Realizing that this could turn into a negative situation very quickly, I gave up and said I would try to watch it in the future. Of course, I left the room totally confused as to how I could control the placement of the shower handle so he wouldn’t get hit with cold water. <sigh> The fact that he felt this was something I was doing wrong didn’t fail to register in my mind. It was evening, so I know he’s most likely experiencing the Sundowning effect of dementia. Still… it left me totally perplexed as to why something like this could be so important to him as to bring it to my attention. I can’t begin to comprehend how his mind works anymore.
Each day is a learning experience… all I can do is go with the flow, and allow things like this to just pass right on by.
Be safe, take good care of yourself and those you love. Be sure to tell those you love that you love them. Appreciate the good moments and let the bad ones go–they’ll only weigh you down.