View From My Window

Sunday, November 28, 2021 — “Like the drop of a hat.” Just that quick, Robert fell asleep with his cup of coffee in his hand.

I’ve just finished cleaning up one of the moments I’m sure some of you have experienced. I’m at the computer and Robert comes to the door of the office, clad only in his boxer shorts and says,”I’ve made a real mess.” OMG…I can only imagine. Actually, it wasn’t as bad as I had thought and he’d only fallen asleep with his coffee cup in his hand and spilled the coffee all over him and the couch cushion. He’d got up, stripped down to his boxers and then came to tell me about the situation. He apologized like crazy and told me not to say it’s o.k. because he felt it wasn’t ‘o.k.’ at all.

We both went to bed at 8:30 p.m. last night as we were both very tired. He slept pretty much through the night, finally getting up around 9 a.m., while I slept in. When I did get up, he was asleep in his chair with newspaper in his lap and his coffee cup in his hand–tilted and ready to spill. I gently removed the coffee cup and as he gradually came around, he pointed straight out from where he was sitting in his chair and uttered, “Pill Box.” I went to the box and he had the lid up for Sunday AM, but no pills. Actually no pills in any of the slots. I had dropped the ball last night — his Saturday PM pills were there but nothing else. He’s been foggy-brained all morning, possibly because he missed his evening meds.

While he was in the shower, I picked up his soaked clothes and put them in the laundry room deep sink–ran cold water and sprayed Spray & Wash everywhere I saw coffee. Then I went to re-arrange the couch cushions, trading out the damp one for the one at the end of the couch. Then I went to check on him to see how he was doing. He’d just finished the shower. I pulled more dirty clothes from the hamper and went back to the laundry room and started a load of wash, including the ones from the coffee spill. Then I re-did his large drink cup with fresh ice, diet 7-up and water. I set it by his chair and when he came in, I sat him down. One day at a time…

It bothers him a lot that he seems to go to sleep so much during the day. I don’t know what to tell him other than his brain is working overtime to maintain his day to day activities and that makes him tired. I don’t tell him that it will only get worse as time goes on. Love him more than anything and at times I feel like crying because he’s able to see the changes in his body, but can’t do anything about them.

Be safe, take care of yourself and be grateful for your blessings. I know I’m blessed each and every day with the love of my favorite person in the whole wide world. Together, we will get through this…

About tehachap

Happily married and retired, my hobbies are quilting, reading and anything to do with trains (watching, photographing and running them in our G scale garden railroad). My husband and I have truly enjoyed our retirement, and have fulfilled one of our primary goals in life and that is to own a home overlooking train tracks so we can watch trains 24/7. We are sincerely blessed in this life.
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6 Responses to View From My Window

  1. 67andgood says:

    I’m sorry that you see the declining every day. Is there a type of cup with a top you can use for the coffee? Like a tippy cup? I’m sure he feels so bad because he knows he is losing the fight and that you are picking up the slack. My husband was like that too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • tehachap says:

      Thank you… it’s incredible that he remained so good for so long and then suddenly, there’s this huge drop overnight. Even this morning there were remnants of confusion. He apologized for last night, though I didn’t feel there was anything to apologize for. He does worry over the smallest thing anymore, which is a new thing for him. He never used to worry at all–I was the one that worried. LOL One day at a time…


  2. mageb says:

    He is remembering his coffee spill tho. That is good. You are better than good. I would have washed the sofa cushions too. Then again, I have slip covers on everything.

    I’m off to start the cleanup after the Comic Con weekend. It’s amazing how big the mess is.

    Liked by 1 person

    • tehachap says:

      Yes, he did. And today was my turn! Arrrgh! LOL Got up from his chair after talking to a friend on the phone and lost my balance. :/ Glad I didn’t get upset with him. It’s so not worth the effort to be angry. The spill on the couch was very minor–most of the coffee was on him and I did a spray n wash on it and it came out fine. The basic problem is he’s very aware of his diminishing mental state and it bothers him. I did buy him a jigsaw puzzle that has WWII airplanes on it. He’s sitting in his chair studying the box. At least he showed some interest in it. Hugs to you and George! Don’t work too hard!


  3. The Misadventures of Widowhood says:

    Living one day at a time, that’s how we all have to get through the stages of decline in our spouses. Mine is gone now and so is my dad who I cared for when his dementia took hold. The pain of those days did fade over time for me. Best wishes to you and your husband.

    Liked by 1 person

    • tehachap says:

      Thank you–another friend who lost her husband a couple of months ago from Parkinson’s/Lewy Body dementia, said the same thing. She added that anti-depressant medications were counter-indicated for dementia patients because the drugs interact with the dementia medications and cause really bad side effects. Best to just (as you say) take it one day at a time. Thanks for your response. Greatly appreciate the reply.


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