Sunday, January 16, 2022 — Yesterday was quite a day. I drove us to Bakersfield to pick up two quilt kits to be made up and turned back in to an organization called “Quilts for Kids“. When I left home, I looked at the gas gauge and decided I had just enough gas to get to the church where I was due to pick up the quilt kits. But I didn’t realize I would get lost before I got there. So here we are, in Bakersfield, and I’m lost and my phone is at home. BUT, I had charged Robert’s phone and he had it on him, so I called my niece and she guided me to the address! Whew! And then we actually made it to CostCo and I got in line to buy gas. I kept visualizing the car running out of gas while sitting in line to buy gas! Nope. We made it.
Then on to do a bit of shopping. I had several things I wanted to get, but Robert was not having a good day, physically. I kept having to look back to make sure he was behind me. After picking up a few of the things I needed, I decided we were done and headed for the checkout. As I was leaving the parking lot, I said I thought we should just go to the Carl’s Jr. there at the entrance and get a hamburger and drink. We wound up setting down inside. I got two tacos and a medium drink and Robert had a Chicken sandwich, fries and a medium drink. He was only able to eat half of his sandwich and laid the remainder on the napkin by my cup. I told him I would finish it and he commented, “I figured you would.” I said, “That wasn’t kind.” He replied, “You eat too much.” Red flag — someone’s politeness filter has gone missing. Later that evening I announced that I was going to have a cup of coffee and proceeded to fix one. He commented, “Yeah, I’ll fix myself one later.” I went into the office with my cup of coffee and the next thing I heard was “Am I going to get a cup of coffee or what?” There’s that filter again. I jumped up and went to fix him a cup while announcing that I was on my way. When I took it to him, I told him that he’d said he would fix himself a cup later. He just looked at me like he hadn’t said that.
I got home and remembered the other items I wanted to buy, but figured I’d just go to the local grocery store and buy there. In the evening, he was very quiet and I asked him if something was bothering him and he said he was totally spaced out at “Home Depot” — he used Home Depot as the store name a couple of times last evening when we were talking about CostCo. In the evenings he’s very subdued and his speech is really slurred and quiet. I have to get right next to him to begin to understand what he’s saying.
Night before last he had a horrible time with understanding the clock and what time it was. We wound up having a not so pleasant discussion. I knew I shouldn’t be arguing with him about it. It didn’t do any good. But I couldn’t see how he was arriving at what he thought the numbers on the clock represented. Later on, he said he didn’t want to have disagreements because they didn’t do any good. I agreed. There’s that time element again.
Patience is a virtue and you need more than your share at times when dealing with dementia. Be safe, be well, and tell those you love that you love them. Whatever the problems are that you’re dealing with in life, know that they are only temporary and you can get through them. Persevere…